And I've decided that I'm going to try to give an update at least every month of what is new with us. I had been jotting things down on my calendar and hand-writing little things here and there, so here is our first month in review! :)
First week -
The hospital:
I can’t believe that is has already been a week. The time has gone by so quickly, but then again so much has happened that I feel like it has been a year. I stayed in the hospital for four days. I could have gone home on Monday, but I thought it would be a good idea to have an extra day to rest in the hospital. Recovery from the C-section has been going pretty well so far. The pain has not been too awful, the worst part has been the swelling. My feet and ankles and legs have been so swollen. My knees are so huge that I can barely bend my legs. It’s awful. I was really scared to try walking for the first time, but the anticipation was the worst part. It was hard, and definitely awkward, but it has gotten easier and the swelling has started going down. Overall, my stay in the hospital was pretty good. Joe stayed with me the first night, and then my mom and Shannon stayed with me the next two nights. I had lots of visitors - my parents and sister, my grandparents, Joe’s mom and sister, my friends Sara and Amy. It was nice to see people, but it was a little overwhelming at times because I was tired and in pain and not really feeling like socializing all the time. It was nice just to have some quiet time to bond with Zoey and try to get a breastfeeding routine established. The nurses were all really nice and helpful with breastfeeding. It seems like everyone at the hospital is very “pro breastfeeding”, so it was nice to have that support. The breastfeeding has definitely been a challenge. Zoey is tongue tied, which means she has a short frenulum and it makes latching on difficult. While I was in the hospital, I was able to work with a lactation consultant, so that was really helpful. Because of the trouble that we were having with Zoey latching on, they gave me a “nipple shield” to use which makes it easier for her. I used that for the first few days, but was eventually able to get her to latch on without it.
First few days at home:
Even though I could have left on Monday, I decided to stay until Tuesday. Monday night was the only night that someone didn’t stay with me at the hospital, but it was actually nice to have the night to myself to rest and relax and try to get as much sleep as possible to prepare for being at home. Joe came to pick me up early in the afternoon and we finally brought baby Zoey home. When we got to the house, I went in first to give some attention to Lexi, and then Joe came in after me with Zoey. Lexi was so good! As soon as I came in the door, she came up to me and just sat in front of me wagging her tail and waiting for me to pet her. This is not normal behavior for her at all. Usually, she is so excited when we come home that she jumps and goes crazy. So, I think that she knew that I was in pain and that she had to be gentle. It was so sweet. When Joe brought Zoey in, she seemed curious and interested, but again she seemed to know that she had to be gentle. I sat in the chair with her for a while and Lexi sat next to me, like she was on guard. I think that she is protective already. The first feeding at home went well, but the first diaper change is another story! We got her all set up on the changing table of the Pack & Play, but when we took the old diaper off, she started pooping before we could get the new one on. And because I was holding her legs up at the time, it was like projectile poop - it shot across the room and onto the chair, the floor, all over her outfit, etc. It was quite shocking. I guess we learned the hard way that we probably shouldn’t change her right after a feeding!
After we were home for a while, Joe’s mom stopped by, and then my parents stopped by for a while, and then once everyone left we tried to settle in for the night. The first night was awful. I don’t remember what time we went to bed, but when Zoey woke up for her first middle of the night feeding, I couldn’t get her to latch on. I don’t know what the problem was, but she just couldn’t do it. She kept getting more and more frustrated and just kept crying louder and louder. Of course I didn’t anticipate her having problems, so I didn’t have the nipple shield ready. Luckily I brought it home from the hospital, so after some rummaging through the suitcase, I found it and was able to get her to eat. But from that point forward, she just wouldn’t settle down. She cried for a good portion of the night and nothing seemed to help. I tried swaddling her, changing her, feeding her again, but she just kept crying. We did not handle it all that well, Joe was yelling and kept saying “something is wrong, she shouldn’t be crying like that”, and I kept insisting “she’s just a baby, babies cry”. Things pretty much went on like that for the rest of the night. I think I finally dozed off in the recliner around 5, and maybe got about an hour of sleep before she was up for the day.
The first night was definitely the worst, but things started to get better the rest of the week. Both of our families were really great about stopping by and bringing us food and anything else that we needed or wanted. Shannon bought us a “womb sounds” teddy bear which really seemed to help the second night. The second night, she slept in her swing with the teddy bear strapped to the back of it with the womb sounds going. We had to sleep in the living room, since that’s where the swing was, but at least we got some sleep. So, you would think that the logical solution would be to move the swing into the bedroom and then we could sleep in our own bed. No such luck! We tried that the next night. I fed her, changed her and tried to get her all settled down and ready for bed. We brought the swing into the bedroom and put her in it and she started crying. Joe thought that maybe the bedroom was too cold for her (we had the a/c on, but it wasn’t very cool at all). I told him that I really didn’t think that could be it since she was in a/c when we were at the hospital. We decided to try moving the swing out to the living room again anyways, and sure enough, she went to sleep! So, it’s really been just a matter of luck for where we can get her to sleep. Mostly, I’ve been sleeping in the living room and she will either sleep in the swing, the pack & play, or sometimes I will bring the bassinette out to the living room so that I can have it right next to the couch. I’m hoping that with time she will adjust and we can get into some sort of sleep pattern or routine because it’s getting exhausting!
Besides the sleep issue, this first week has had other challenges as well. My swelling in my legs seems to have gotten worse since I have come home. I guess it’s because I am on my feet more now that I’m in my own house. My legs feel like tree trunks. My knees are so swollen that I can barely bend them. My mom says that I look like the state puff marshmallow man when I walk. The swelling seems to go down a little bit if I lay with my feet up on a huge stack of pillows, but I can only do that for so long. So, I’ve just been dealing with it, and trying to drink lots of water. The doctor says that it will take some time for my system to get rid of all the extra fluids that they put in me and the best thing for me to do is drink lots of water.
The other big frustration has been breastfeeding. I feel like it was going so well when I was at the hospital, but now that I’m home it’s like I’ve taken a step backward. I can’t get her to latch on without the shield anymore which is very frustrating. When I go to the pediatrician, I am going to talk to them about having her frenulum clipped. The lactation consultant recommended it. It’s a very simple procedure for babies this young and should help her be able to latch on better. I’m hoping that will take care of the problem. I guess it’s not the end of the world having to use the nipple shields. In reality, it’s probably no more inconvenient than having to prepare a bottle, but I’d still like to be able to breastfeed without them.
I think that’s about it for the first week. It’s been a whirlwind and a blur. It seems like time is already flying. Joe goes back to work on Monday, so itwill be interesting to see how our first week “home alone” goes.
Second week
Where to start? So much has happened that I don’t know where to begin. First of all, I can say that the sleeping situation has gotten much better. I finally got her to sleep in the bassinette in the bedroom, so I have actually been able to sleep in my own bed. The secret seems to be white noise. I downloaded some white noise sounds from the computer and then transferred them to my cell phone so that I can clip that onto the bassinette and play it for her while she sleeps. It really seems to help and I feel like we finally have a routine established for sleeping at night. I put her to bed in her bassinette anywhere between 9 and 11 depending on when she eats, and then she will usually get up twice during the night. I change her diaper and feed her, and usually she will go right back down in the bassinette. Even if she doesn’t go to sleep right away, the white noise keeps her from fussing, so I am able to back to sleep. It is definitely an adjustment only getting to sleep in 2-3 hour stretches, but I’m getting by. Sometimes I’ll try to take a nap during the day, but I usually don’t have much luck sleeping during the day unless I am really exhausted.
The other big thing that has been going on of course is the breastfeeding. She is still having problems latching on, and it’s really frustrating. When we took her to the pediatrician on Saturday, he agreed that she is tongue tied and gave us the name of an ear/nose/throat doctor that we could talk to about clipping her frenulum. But when I tried to call him, the number had been changed, and the information for the new number did not even list his name. So I decided just to schedule an appt with one of the doctors that the lactation consultant at the hospital suggested. So when I went to the appt, the dr looked at her for all of about two minutes and then told me that she is not tongue tied. She said that her frenulum is “a little short”, but she would not say that she is tongue tied and does not think it should interfere with breastfeeding or that it would impact her speech at all. She said that she would recommend working with a lactation consultant if I am having trouble breastfeeding because clipping her frenulum would not make any difference. So now I am really confused and frustrated. I just don’t understand why the nurses and lactation consultants at the hospital and the pediatrician would all agree that she is tongue tied, and then this doctor would say that she isn’t. So, I want to go to a different doctor for a second opinion which is annoying because it’s just more time to wait to try to figure out what is going on. In the meantime, I am just continuing to use the nipple shields. It’s annoying, but I guess that it is not the end of the world. At least I can get her to eat and so I don’t have to worry that she is not getting enough. The worst part is that I just feel a little “trapped” by the whole situation. I feel self conscious about people coming to visit, or the thought of taking her anywhere because of the possibility that I might have to feed her in front of other people. Sometimes, even with the nipple shield, it takes 5-10 minutes of trying before she will latch on and the whole time she is crying and fussing. So, it’s stressful enough dealing with that on my own - the thought of having someone else there at the time is not too appealing. I don’t mind if it’s just my mom, Joe’s mom, or my sister, but I wouldn’t want to have to deal with that in front of most of my friends, extended family, etc. So I have been putting of having people come over and visit because I’m scared of what might happen. It stinks because I feel kind of isolated and lonely sometimes.
Other than that, noting major to report. We gave her her first bath on Wednesday night. She really seemed to like it. She didn’t cry at all and kind of kicked her feet around in the water and opened her eyes really wide. It was really cute!
So, I think that’s about it for week #2.
Weeks 3-4
It’s hard to believe that it’s been just about a month. Zoey is changing so much and getting so big already! Everything is going pretty well, but it’s definitely a challenge being a full-time mom. I feel like since I am pretty much home all day, I should be able to get stuff done and keep up with the laundry, dishes, cleaning, etc, but I am finding it pretty much impossible. I feel like most of the day is spent in a cycle of feeding, changing, and holding her. If she isn’t eating or asleep, she pretty much wants to be held all the time. I really love to hold and cuddle her, but it definitely makes it hard to get stuff done. A lot of times I can barely find time to shower and eat. I’ve tried a bunch of different carriers/slings, etc, but so far have no luck finding one that I like and that she will be calm in. People have said to me that I should just enjoy it because she will only be little once and then I will miss it, which I know is true, but then again when there isn’t a single clean fork, or I don’t have any clean underwear, it’s not all that practical to just forget about keeping up with that stuff! I try to put her in the swing or bouncy seat, but she will only tolerate them for short periods of time before she is crying and wanting to be picked up again. And I don’t have much luck getting her to nap during the day unless I am holding her. If I lay on the couch or in bed with her, she will sometimes sleep for two or three hours, put if I try to put her down once she is sleeping, she will usually wake up within a few minutes. So, I spend most of the day laying around, cuddling her, watching a lot of TV, playing around on the computer, etc. We have started to venture out more though. Four weeks was probably the turning point. The day that she turned four weeks we had our first outing to Target and babies R Us. It went pretty well, but she would start to get fussy if the cart was not moving, so it was hard to stop and look at anything! But, we survived. I’ve also made short trips to the grocery store, and so far all has gone well. So far no major meltdowns, but I’ve kept the trips short.
The hospital:
I can’t believe that is has already been a week. The time has gone by so quickly, but then again so much has happened that I feel like it has been a year. I stayed in the hospital for four days. I could have gone home on Monday, but I thought it would be a good idea to have an extra day to rest in the hospital. Recovery from the C-section has been going pretty well so far. The pain has not been too awful, the worst part has been the swelling. My feet and ankles and legs have been so swollen. My knees are so huge that I can barely bend my legs. It’s awful. I was really scared to try walking for the first time, but the anticipation was the worst part. It was hard, and definitely awkward, but it has gotten easier and the swelling has started going down. Overall, my stay in the hospital was pretty good. Joe stayed with me the first night, and then my mom and Shannon stayed with me the next two nights. I had lots of visitors - my parents and sister, my grandparents, Joe’s mom and sister, my friends Sara and Amy. It was nice to see people, but it was a little overwhelming at times because I was tired and in pain and not really feeling like socializing all the time. It was nice just to have some quiet time to bond with Zoey and try to get a breastfeeding routine established. The nurses were all really nice and helpful with breastfeeding. It seems like everyone at the hospital is very “pro breastfeeding”, so it was nice to have that support. The breastfeeding has definitely been a challenge. Zoey is tongue tied, which means she has a short frenulum and it makes latching on difficult. While I was in the hospital, I was able to work with a lactation consultant, so that was really helpful. Because of the trouble that we were having with Zoey latching on, they gave me a “nipple shield” to use which makes it easier for her. I used that for the first few days, but was eventually able to get her to latch on without it.
First few days at home:
Even though I could have left on Monday, I decided to stay until Tuesday. Monday night was the only night that someone didn’t stay with me at the hospital, but it was actually nice to have the night to myself to rest and relax and try to get as much sleep as possible to prepare for being at home. Joe came to pick me up early in the afternoon and we finally brought baby Zoey home. When we got to the house, I went in first to give some attention to Lexi, and then Joe came in after me with Zoey. Lexi was so good! As soon as I came in the door, she came up to me and just sat in front of me wagging her tail and waiting for me to pet her. This is not normal behavior for her at all. Usually, she is so excited when we come home that she jumps and goes crazy. So, I think that she knew that I was in pain and that she had to be gentle. It was so sweet. When Joe brought Zoey in, she seemed curious and interested, but again she seemed to know that she had to be gentle. I sat in the chair with her for a while and Lexi sat next to me, like she was on guard. I think that she is protective already. The first feeding at home went well, but the first diaper change is another story! We got her all set up on the changing table of the Pack & Play, but when we took the old diaper off, she started pooping before we could get the new one on. And because I was holding her legs up at the time, it was like projectile poop - it shot across the room and onto the chair, the floor, all over her outfit, etc. It was quite shocking. I guess we learned the hard way that we probably shouldn’t change her right after a feeding!
After we were home for a while, Joe’s mom stopped by, and then my parents stopped by for a while, and then once everyone left we tried to settle in for the night. The first night was awful. I don’t remember what time we went to bed, but when Zoey woke up for her first middle of the night feeding, I couldn’t get her to latch on. I don’t know what the problem was, but she just couldn’t do it. She kept getting more and more frustrated and just kept crying louder and louder. Of course I didn’t anticipate her having problems, so I didn’t have the nipple shield ready. Luckily I brought it home from the hospital, so after some rummaging through the suitcase, I found it and was able to get her to eat. But from that point forward, she just wouldn’t settle down. She cried for a good portion of the night and nothing seemed to help. I tried swaddling her, changing her, feeding her again, but she just kept crying. We did not handle it all that well, Joe was yelling and kept saying “something is wrong, she shouldn’t be crying like that”, and I kept insisting “she’s just a baby, babies cry”. Things pretty much went on like that for the rest of the night. I think I finally dozed off in the recliner around 5, and maybe got about an hour of sleep before she was up for the day.
The first night was definitely the worst, but things started to get better the rest of the week. Both of our families were really great about stopping by and bringing us food and anything else that we needed or wanted. Shannon bought us a “womb sounds” teddy bear which really seemed to help the second night. The second night, she slept in her swing with the teddy bear strapped to the back of it with the womb sounds going. We had to sleep in the living room, since that’s where the swing was, but at least we got some sleep. So, you would think that the logical solution would be to move the swing into the bedroom and then we could sleep in our own bed. No such luck! We tried that the next night. I fed her, changed her and tried to get her all settled down and ready for bed. We brought the swing into the bedroom and put her in it and she started crying. Joe thought that maybe the bedroom was too cold for her (we had the a/c on, but it wasn’t very cool at all). I told him that I really didn’t think that could be it since she was in a/c when we were at the hospital. We decided to try moving the swing out to the living room again anyways, and sure enough, she went to sleep! So, it’s really been just a matter of luck for where we can get her to sleep. Mostly, I’ve been sleeping in the living room and she will either sleep in the swing, the pack & play, or sometimes I will bring the bassinette out to the living room so that I can have it right next to the couch. I’m hoping that with time she will adjust and we can get into some sort of sleep pattern or routine because it’s getting exhausting!
Besides the sleep issue, this first week has had other challenges as well. My swelling in my legs seems to have gotten worse since I have come home. I guess it’s because I am on my feet more now that I’m in my own house. My legs feel like tree trunks. My knees are so swollen that I can barely bend them. My mom says that I look like the state puff marshmallow man when I walk. The swelling seems to go down a little bit if I lay with my feet up on a huge stack of pillows, but I can only do that for so long. So, I’ve just been dealing with it, and trying to drink lots of water. The doctor says that it will take some time for my system to get rid of all the extra fluids that they put in me and the best thing for me to do is drink lots of water.
The other big frustration has been breastfeeding. I feel like it was going so well when I was at the hospital, but now that I’m home it’s like I’ve taken a step backward. I can’t get her to latch on without the shield anymore which is very frustrating. When I go to the pediatrician, I am going to talk to them about having her frenulum clipped. The lactation consultant recommended it. It’s a very simple procedure for babies this young and should help her be able to latch on better. I’m hoping that will take care of the problem. I guess it’s not the end of the world having to use the nipple shields. In reality, it’s probably no more inconvenient than having to prepare a bottle, but I’d still like to be able to breastfeed without them.
I think that’s about it for the first week. It’s been a whirlwind and a blur. It seems like time is already flying. Joe goes back to work on Monday, so itwill be interesting to see how our first week “home alone” goes.
Second week
Where to start? So much has happened that I don’t know where to begin. First of all, I can say that the sleeping situation has gotten much better. I finally got her to sleep in the bassinette in the bedroom, so I have actually been able to sleep in my own bed. The secret seems to be white noise. I downloaded some white noise sounds from the computer and then transferred them to my cell phone so that I can clip that onto the bassinette and play it for her while she sleeps. It really seems to help and I feel like we finally have a routine established for sleeping at night. I put her to bed in her bassinette anywhere between 9 and 11 depending on when she eats, and then she will usually get up twice during the night. I change her diaper and feed her, and usually she will go right back down in the bassinette. Even if she doesn’t go to sleep right away, the white noise keeps her from fussing, so I am able to back to sleep. It is definitely an adjustment only getting to sleep in 2-3 hour stretches, but I’m getting by. Sometimes I’ll try to take a nap during the day, but I usually don’t have much luck sleeping during the day unless I am really exhausted.
The other big thing that has been going on of course is the breastfeeding. She is still having problems latching on, and it’s really frustrating. When we took her to the pediatrician on Saturday, he agreed that she is tongue tied and gave us the name of an ear/nose/throat doctor that we could talk to about clipping her frenulum. But when I tried to call him, the number had been changed, and the information for the new number did not even list his name. So I decided just to schedule an appt with one of the doctors that the lactation consultant at the hospital suggested. So when I went to the appt, the dr looked at her for all of about two minutes and then told me that she is not tongue tied. She said that her frenulum is “a little short”, but she would not say that she is tongue tied and does not think it should interfere with breastfeeding or that it would impact her speech at all. She said that she would recommend working with a lactation consultant if I am having trouble breastfeeding because clipping her frenulum would not make any difference. So now I am really confused and frustrated. I just don’t understand why the nurses and lactation consultants at the hospital and the pediatrician would all agree that she is tongue tied, and then this doctor would say that she isn’t. So, I want to go to a different doctor for a second opinion which is annoying because it’s just more time to wait to try to figure out what is going on. In the meantime, I am just continuing to use the nipple shields. It’s annoying, but I guess that it is not the end of the world. At least I can get her to eat and so I don’t have to worry that she is not getting enough. The worst part is that I just feel a little “trapped” by the whole situation. I feel self conscious about people coming to visit, or the thought of taking her anywhere because of the possibility that I might have to feed her in front of other people. Sometimes, even with the nipple shield, it takes 5-10 minutes of trying before she will latch on and the whole time she is crying and fussing. So, it’s stressful enough dealing with that on my own - the thought of having someone else there at the time is not too appealing. I don’t mind if it’s just my mom, Joe’s mom, or my sister, but I wouldn’t want to have to deal with that in front of most of my friends, extended family, etc. So I have been putting of having people come over and visit because I’m scared of what might happen. It stinks because I feel kind of isolated and lonely sometimes.
Other than that, noting major to report. We gave her her first bath on Wednesday night. She really seemed to like it. She didn’t cry at all and kind of kicked her feet around in the water and opened her eyes really wide. It was really cute!
So, I think that’s about it for week #2.
Weeks 3-4
It’s hard to believe that it’s been just about a month. Zoey is changing so much and getting so big already! Everything is going pretty well, but it’s definitely a challenge being a full-time mom. I feel like since I am pretty much home all day, I should be able to get stuff done and keep up with the laundry, dishes, cleaning, etc, but I am finding it pretty much impossible. I feel like most of the day is spent in a cycle of feeding, changing, and holding her. If she isn’t eating or asleep, she pretty much wants to be held all the time. I really love to hold and cuddle her, but it definitely makes it hard to get stuff done. A lot of times I can barely find time to shower and eat. I’ve tried a bunch of different carriers/slings, etc, but so far have no luck finding one that I like and that she will be calm in. People have said to me that I should just enjoy it because she will only be little once and then I will miss it, which I know is true, but then again when there isn’t a single clean fork, or I don’t have any clean underwear, it’s not all that practical to just forget about keeping up with that stuff! I try to put her in the swing or bouncy seat, but she will only tolerate them for short periods of time before she is crying and wanting to be picked up again. And I don’t have much luck getting her to nap during the day unless I am holding her. If I lay on the couch or in bed with her, she will sometimes sleep for two or three hours, put if I try to put her down once she is sleeping, she will usually wake up within a few minutes. So, I spend most of the day laying around, cuddling her, watching a lot of TV, playing around on the computer, etc. We have started to venture out more though. Four weeks was probably the turning point. The day that she turned four weeks we had our first outing to Target and babies R Us. It went pretty well, but she would start to get fussy if the cart was not moving, so it was hard to stop and look at anything! But, we survived. I’ve also made short trips to the grocery store, and so far all has gone well. So far no major meltdowns, but I’ve kept the trips short.
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