Sleep training was SO hard, but it's working... (super long post)

If you aren't interested in sleep or sleep training, don't bother reading this post - there won't be any fun pictures! :)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Well, I broke down and did something that I thought I would never do - I "Ferberized". If you aren't someone who spends time on the Nest baby boards, you might not know about all the controversy about Richard Ferber and his sleep training method. The basic idea is that you have to teach babies to fall asleep on thier own without being rocked, nursed, etc and that in order for them to learn, you have to put them to bed awake, and will probably have to let them cry. I really never thought that I would let Zoey "cry it out" because I thought it was just awful, cruel, mean, etc. But one thing about motherhood that I have learned - never say never. Although Zoey has basically slept through the night since she was about 2 months old, it has sometimes been a struggle to actually get her to sleep. The basic routine would be - bath or massage, jammies, swaddle, nurse her until she was asleep, then bed. Well, this was working out great for the most part, but recently it was getting harder and harder to get her to fall asleep and then once she finally was asleep and in the crib, she would wake up within 45 minutes and then we would start the whole process all over again. Some nights it was taking 2 or 3 attempts at putting her to bed until she was finally really in bed for the night.


So....even though I had always said that I was so against letting her cry, I decided that I would at least read Ferber's book to see what his method was all about. And once I read it, I decided that I actually thought his theories and ideas made a lot of sense, and I would give the "progressive waiting" a try. So the idea was to put Zoey down awake, and then when she starts crying, you go into her room at determined intervals - 5 minutes, then 10, then 15, and then keep going in every 15 minutes until she falls asleep. The next night (or naptime) you start at 10, then 15, then 20....etc. But when you go into the room, you can't pick her up or rock her, feed her etc. It's just so that you can see that she is okay, and you can talk to her and try to reassure her that she's okay, you're just in the next room, etc and haven't just abandoned her to cry alone in a dark room. Well, it sounds really great in theory, but let me tell you it SUCKED. The first night, she started screaming the second I walked away from the crib and cried hard for over an hour. I thought my heart would break and felt like the worst mother ever. And every time that I went into her room to try to soothe/reassure her, she would just cry even harder. It was SO hard not to pick her up and listen to her cry, but somehow I did it and she fell asleep after about an hour and 20 minutes. The second day she did a little better with her naps, so I thought bedtime would be better too, but no such luck - she cried for more than an hour again. Day 3 was pretty much the same - naps were not so bad, but at bedtime she cried for about an hour. I was getting really frustrated and ready to just forget it. I was not okay with my baby having to cry for an hour every night at bedtime - it was just too heartbreaking. But I told myslef that I would try it for at least a week. Day 4 was the day that we had a breakthrough. She only cried for 3 minutes for her morning nap, so that was very encouraging. At bedtime, she only cried for about 10 minutes, and she didn't even really cry that hard. She was asleep within a half hour of me putting her in her crib - it was wonderful. That fourth day was definitely the turning point - after that, things have continued to go well with an average of about 10 minutes of light crying/whining before she goes to sleep.

So, all in all I consider the sleep training a success. We had 3 really tough nights, but it's a small price to pay if it means that she will go to bed easily and we are all sleeping well. And although there are some people out there that are dead set against "cry it out" and think that it's too harsh and you are just teaching your baby that they can't depend on you (I was one of them!), I really believe that a few days of crying is not anything to worry too much about.


Below are the specific details of the past 7 days - not to bore anyone with all the specific details, but more just so that I will have it documented somewhere for myself

********************************************************



Day 1 - Friday

Bedtime - checked in at intervals of 5, 10, 15 minutes. Crying started to slow down at 50 minutes, but then started back up again. Asleep for good at 1 hour 20 minutes and STTN


Day 2 - Saturday
AM nap - checked in at 10 minutes. Crying started stopping at bout 15 minutes. Seemed asleep at 20 minutes, but then a few more stray noises and cries. Asleep at 41 minutes - slept I hour 10 minutes

PM nap - cried consistanly for 7 minutes. Never checked in. On and off crying for about 25 minutes total. Slept 1 hr 15 minutes

Bedtime - cried 1 hour 25 minutes :( checked in at intervals of 20-25 minutes. STTN


Day 3 - Sunday

AM nap - fell asleep in car, so she kept sleeping in the carseat

PM nap - checked in at 15 minutes, crying slowed down and stopped at 35 minutes. Only slept 20 minutes


Bedtime - checked in at 20 minutes, stopped crying at around 45 minutes, but started back up again. Asleep at a little over 1 hour

Day 4 - Monday

AM nap - cried hard for only 3 minutes! asleep within 15, but only slept 35 minutes.

PM nap - fell asleep in car, slept in carseat 3 hours

Bedtime - looked at aquarium for 15 minutes without crying Cried for 10 minutes, then stopped. Started back up again, but only a few stray cries - never escalated. Asleep within another 10 minutes. Woke up after 2 1/2 hours (10:30 pm), nursed, then went back to sleep without crying. Woke up around 4ish crying, never escalated, didn't check in, she went back to sleep on her own.

Day 5 - Tuesday

AM nap -- NO crying at all!!! :) asleep withing 20 minutes

PM nap @ 1:30 - cried for only 7 mins

bedtime - cried less than 10 mins. woke up @ 2:30 to eat (after 8 hrs) cried 10 minutes before back to sleep. woke up again 2 hours later - nursed, then right back to sleep without crying

Day 6 - Wednesday

Went down for naps with very little crying (more like light fussing/whining)

bedtime - cried 25 minutes (It was longer than the two previous nights but the neighbors were making a lot of noise scraping ice off of their cars and their driveway is right outside her window. Once they were done, she stopped crying within 5 minutes). woke up at 12:45 to eat (after 4hrs 45min), nursed then back to sleep with just a little whining.

Day 7 - Thursday

AM nap - cried for about 15 minutes

PM nap - cried for about 15 minutes

bedtime - cried for 8 minutes